If you’re like me, you’re firmly in your 50s now. So, how’s it going on the upside of the “U-shaped happiness curve”?
You know, the other side of that seemingly interminable dip in life satisfaction that The Happiness Curve author Jonathan Rauch says you likely experienced from your 20s until it bottomed out at 47.2 years old (give or take).
So, are you always happy, peppy, and bursting with love? Or do you find yourself thinking happiness is overrated and the constant pursuit of it is dragging you down?
Maybe it’s just that you don’t truly understand the difference between happiness and life satisfaction. Let’s start there.
Whiny Happy People
You’ve heard all the pithy sayings about what happiness is, from a warm puppy to a journey, not a destination. All true, and also transient and unsustainable.
Research shows pursuing happiness can be paradoxical: the harder you push to achieve it, the more elusive it becomes. Plus, holding onto an expectation of what it should look and feel like can become a relentlessly depressing cycle.
In other words, if happiness is a feeling or a concept, it’s by definition fleeting. Life satisfaction, on the other hand, is, according to psychologist Dr. Jennifer Guttman, something you can attain by taking practical steps.
The answer is through action — living well and directing our energies toward finding the sustainable and satisfied life that is midway between excess and deficiency, between narcissism and neediness.
That seems like a lot to navigate, but happily, Dr. Guttman’s approach is straightforward.
Satisfaction Guaranteed
To go “beyond happiness” and enjoy your life consistently, Dr. Guttman recommends six core techniques:
- Avoid assumptions: Take action based on facts vs. what you believe others feel about you. Evidence-based thinking also builds confidence and self-reliance.
- Quit people pleasing: By prioritizing your needs over others, you’ll act authentically vs. out of fear, guilt, or obligation. This fosters feelings of self-worth and helps you create more meaningful connections.
- Face your fears: It might seem counterintuitive, but facing fears and moving forward is a positive motivating factor. Plus, it builds your self-esteem.
- Make decisions: While you can always make better decisions, the point is to simply take action without second-guessing yourself. This increases your self-efficacy and self-assurance.
- Become a closer: This one you probably instinctively know: closing tasks (vs. starting them) is very satisfying. While it can be challenging (i.e., ending a relationship, quitting a job), it builds your self-confidence, resilience, and self-respect.
- Self-reinforce: Give yourself props (and tangible rewards) for doing the first five techniques. Bonus: you’ll stop needing reinforcement from others and become a pro at self-praise.
Ironically, if you focus on life satisfaction, you’ll regularly experience more happiness. And that alone will be a joy to behold.
How To Go Beyond Happiness & Sustain Long-Term Satisfaction (MindBodyGreen)
