There’s a line from the 1988 classic film Who Framed Roger Rabbit, crooned by Kathleen Turner’s Jessica Rabbit:
I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.
Decades later, in our 24/7 sensationalist world, that sentiment could apply to almost all media and countless organizations, products, and people. Like sex, fear and loathing sell — mainly because our brains come hardwired with a negativity bias. Research shows we gravitate to “bad things,” storing them in our memories and letting them guide our decision-making.
With no shortage of awful things happening worldwide, it’s easy to get lulled into hopelessness-driven inactivity. But at midlife, you have miles to go in pursuit of greater meaning and purpose and can’t let despair derail you. Time to take the bull(sh*t) by the horns and steer yourself towards a more positive path.
A Few Things to Chew On
First, a word about positivity: while being cheerful uplifts both you and society overall, there’s certainly a toxic dark side, too. Plus, it’s not so simple to pivot into bliss. As Anthony Iannarino, author of The Negativity Fast: Proven Techniques to Increase Positivity, Reduce Fear, and Boost Success, points out:
Our seven dominant emotions are anger, contempt, fear, disgust, happiness, sadness, and surprise. Five dominant emotions are negative, with happiness the only positive one, unless the surprise happens to be positive.
Iannarino’s journey started when a mentor noted how angry and worried he was about things that were largely beyond his control. This led him to conduct a “negativity audit,” identifying magazines, books, newsletters, and people who were bringing him down. From there, Iannarino went on a 30-day “negativity fast,” which was so effective that he’s still doing it 20 years later.
Ditching the Downer Diet
A positivity pivot may still seem challenging even after critically examining what you consume and who you surround yourself with. Chin up! Here are some simple tactics that can make a negativity fast go down easier:
- Focus on uplifting content (like Further 😉) made by inspiring, upbeat creators (my faves include Pema Chödrön and Mark Manson).
- Skip watching the news and instead scan headlines from more neutral sources (i.e., NPR).
- Note how often you complain, and try to do it less.
- Do Martin Seligman’s “Three Blessings” exercise: Each evening, write down three things that went well for you that day.
- Notice your mortality — Iannarino uses a countdown app that tells him how many weeks he has left if he lives to the average age in the US of 78.2 years.
That last one is incredibly potent, reminding you that you’ve got a limited time to leave your mark on this world (and have fun in the process). I’m pretty positive you don’t want to negate this precious opportunity.
I tried a 2-week negativity fast. Here’s how it went (Fast Company)
