It’s natural for your values to shift at midlife. After all, you’ve earned your crystallized intelligence and are likely more motivated than ever to find meaning and purpose in your endeavors.
But hiking back up that U-shaped happiness curve isn’t easy. You’ll need to check your internal compass to ensure it’s guiding you to do things that truly matter to you and, ultimately, your legacy.
It sounds lofty, but it’s simple: do a values check. When you remind yourself of what’s important, it’ll be much easier to move forward.
Face Value
Throughout your life, you’ve undoubtedly been told to “stick to your values” when challenged by others or even your own indecision. That works well if you’re crystal clear on what you care about most but less effective if you’re unsure if what you once held dear still serves you.
For example, ambition may have been a driving force when you were younger, but now that you’ve aced your professional goals, that might feel hollow. Or you might value friendship, only to recognize keeping up with everyone you consider a pal is exhausting.
It helps if you understand what a value is in the first place. According to Valerie Tiberius, author of What Do You Want Out of Life?: A Philosophical Guide to Figuring Out What Matters, it’s not just something handed to you by your religion, parents, or teachers. Values are deeper than simple beliefs or desires, as feelings are involved.
Values are relatively stable, emotionally entrenched, reflectively endorsed, important goals that exhibit patterns of mutual reinforcement.
In other words, if you value something, you want it on all levels: intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. If you do, it’s much easier to discern the next right action for you.
Standard Practice
To properly reflect on your values, you must go beyond simply writing a list of things you think you cherish. Identifying the things that matter most to you isn’t always rational, so Tiberius recommends a more organic approach.
For example, take note of when you’re in flow. If you lose yourself in knitting or painting, for example, then creativity is a core value. Conversely, if you’re working on a project that consistently makes you stressed, annoyed, or bored, it’s likely not a worthy goal.
Another route Tiberius offers is more philosophical: Imagine you had to move to another planet. What handful of things would you take (not including your loved ones)? Your gut choices reflect what matters to you, whether it’s a pet (animal rights, unconditional love), a musical instrument (self-expression), or a memento like a seashell (🙋♀️nature).
Understanding what you value isn’t just an excellent way to get things done. It’s also the only way to ensure that what you do is aligned with who you are. That’s a surefire path to fulfillment, and it’s truly invaluable.
A philosophical approach can help you identify what truly matters (Psyche)
