As we’ve often discussed, our generation isn’t buying into the retirement myth. And why should we? We’re infinitely adaptable and high achievers to boot — ”slacker” is the ultimate oxymoron.
That said, there’s bad news about how hard we grind: new research shows it’s taking a toll not only on our physical and mental well-being but also on our relationships.
Gen X employees were more likely (79%) than any other generation to report that work stress has led to a breakup or divorce.
That’s some bitter irony: aren’t you working so hard so you can enjoy life with loved ones? Plus, the stress of a costly gray divorce won’t help. Perhaps it’s time to shift gears.
Down and Out
Recently, a “letter from the abyss” by David Spinks, iconic community builder and author of The Business of Belonging, caught my eye. I hadn’t realized, but shortly after he presented a guest lecture in our Leading Expert community in 2022 (formerly the Unemployable Initiative), he disappeared for a couple of years.
What Spinks went through was something beyond burnout, as it involved both professional and personal issues. This is something we sandwich generation members know intimately, and it makes us especially susceptible to anxiety and depression.
Spinks says the best way to describe his time in “the abyss” was what change expert William Bridges calls the “neutral zone.”
‘People go through an in-between time when the old is gone but the new isn’t fully operational,’ Bridges explains. ‘It is when the critical psychological realignments and repatternings take place.’
Whether you’re already teetering on the edge of your own abyss or just beginning to realize that your stress is too high, the good news is you don’t have to disappear to improve your life. But you should consider slowing your roll.
Get Down On It
From psychologists to enthusiasts of the slow movement, downshifting is about creating a more balanced, meaningful existence. I like how Spinks puts it:
Downshifting is the process a high achiever goes through when stepping off the treadmill. It’s their journey into a new version of life where achievement is no longer their north star (at least not the version of achievement they’ve known).
This is an introspective process, and practices including meditation and reassessing your core values can help get you through it. Spinks found his journey to be non-linear, sometimes lonely, and often humbling. Together, he and his wife reframed downshifting as an investment, not a cost.
Now, Spinks is less than a couple of decades into his career, so you might think that makes it easier for him to downshift without worrying about being permanently downsized. Don’t be ageist! It’s never too soon or too late to downshift because the upside of a less stressful, more purposeful life is always the best way to enjoy life’s ride.
How to Downshift (David Spinks’ Newsletter)
