It’s a uniquely disconcerting experience to spot someone on the street talking to himself. First you try to spot the Bluetooth headset (without looking like you’re looking).
Nope, nothing there … that dude is just talking to himself.
Of course, we all talk to ourselves — just usually inside our heads. Interestingly, studies show that how we address ourselves in our inner monologue makes an amazing difference in our performance, well-being, and wisdom.
Psychologist Ethan Kross performed pioneering research that shows a dramatic difference in life success based on how people conduct self-talk. It boils down to this:
- “Talk to yourself with the pronoun I, for instance, and you’re likely to fluster and perform poorly in stressful circumstances. Address yourself by your name and your chances of acing a host of tasks, from speech making to self-advocacy, suddenly soar.”
So, when LeBron James said, “I wanted to do what was best for LeBron James, and to do what makes LeBron James happy,” he’s not being a crazy egoist. He’s actually stepping outside of himself and objectively explaining a decision that works best for him.
The research Kross performed shows that this inner third-person commentary has some truly exceptional benefits. Here are the three most prominent:
1. Better Performance
Research subjects were given five minutes to prepare a speech explaining why they should be hired for their dream job. Half of the subjects were instructed to describe themselves using “I” in a prep document; the other half were told to address themselves by name. Those calling themselves by name performed better according to independent judges. These participants also experienced less depression and felt less shame.
2. Higher Well-Being
Neuroscientist and clinical psychologist Jason Moser measured electrical activity in the brain as subjects engaged in different varieties of self-talk. Subjects that used their first names instead of personal pronouns in the face of stressful situations reported a dramatic reduction in anxiety levels, which corresponded with a vast decrease in energy consumed by the frontal lobes.
Referring to yourself in the third person creates psychological distance, much as we are generally better at advising others than we are at following our own advice. The research shows that people who achieve psychological distance think things through in a more wise and measured way. “The psychologically distanced perspective allowed people to transcend their egocentric viewpoints and take the big picture into account,” Kross concluded. So, do those Stuart Smalley positive affirmations work? Yes, but not in the way you might think. Self-criticism is fine, and often necessary. But if you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself. Be objective and honest in your self-awareness, but also be kind. Stuart should be saying to himself (as long as it’s realistic): “Stuart, you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you!” He should also try to keep that noise in his head if there are people around. Just saying. Further exploration: Brian often refers to himself by name in his head, but he assumed that this was another crazy thing that only he did. Lately, Brian enjoys referring to himself in the third person out loud just to alarm people in line at the bank. “Chronic pain is known to cause brain anatomy changes and impairments, but yoga can be an important tool for preventing or even reversing the effects of chronic pain on the brain, according to a National Institutes of Health (NIH) official speaking at the American Pain Society’s annual meeting.” You may also want to check out the Five Tibetan exercises. They’re a version of Tibetan yoga, and they emphasize a continuous sequence of movement that brings other benefits as well. Yoga and chronic pain have opposite effects on brain gray matter You know, there’s a joke that says an entrepreneur is a person who works 80 hours a week to avoid working 40 hours a week for someone else. According to this Fast Company article, in the future you’ll work 80 hours a week just for the dubious privilege of having a job. Plus, the people who can land these jobs will also be the most capable of succeeding outside of traditional employment. Which would you choose? The Highest-Paying Jobs of the Future Will Eat Your Life “Seeing someone perform an act of kindness can warm your heart. That feeling has a name — it’s called moral elevation, and it’s that warm-and-fuzzy-on-the-inside sensation you get when you’re in the presence of true human goodness. New research published in the journal Biological Psychiatry aimed to find out what moral elevation actually looks like in the brain and body. Researchers measured the brain activity and heart rates of 104 college students while they watched videos depicting either heroic acts of kindness or humorous situations.” Why Kindness Is Contagious, According To Science This week’s issue is a few hours late due to the Memorial Day Weekend here in the U.S. If you’ve had the day off, I hope it’s been a good one. If you’re enjoying Further, would you mind forwarding this issue to a friend? Or, maybe use these social media thingies to share: Thank you as always for tuning in. Check out the archives until next week. Keep going- Brian ClarkIf You Don’t Have Something Nice to Say …
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