In Gretchen Rubin’s classic book, The Happiness Project, first published when my daughter was seven, she wrote a line that always got me:
The days are long, but the years are short.
Cut to today, when I’m headed to my daughter’s college graduation, and I realize those prescient words still haunt me. (Cue the tears; if you want to savor a good cry, watch Rubin’s minute-long video illustrating this line.)
Time waits for no one, which can be either a curse or a challenge, depending on your perspective. If you’d rather be filled with joy and appreciation vs. regret and longing, then good news! All you need to do is get better at something you instinctively do when you consume something divine, like a perfectly ripe strawberry, silky chocolate truffle, or a smoky, oaky red wine.
Savor it, baby.
The Pleasure Principle
Pausing to delight in something is a multi-faceted experience. It engages all five senses and unleashes a rush of feel-good hormones, including dopamine and serotonin. Psychologists define savoring as:
The capacity to attend to, appreciate, and enhance the positive experiences in one’s life.
Mindfulness is mixed into that savory sauce, but that doesn’t mean it solely happens when you’re experiencing something. You can relish a memory or the anticipation of what’s to come. Plus, savoring can be something you orchestrate — or not.
Savoring can be reactive — spontaneously responding to an unanticipated positive experience; it can also be proactive —deliberately seeking out or creating a positive experience.
The key to indulging in positive reflection on your timeline is a particular flavor of mindfulness: intentionality.
Revel Well
Even though savoring is a natural, reflexive action, you can also cultivate it. Researchers have identified several “savoring strategies,” which include:
- Listing your pleasures: Knowing what brings you joy makes it easier to seek it out.
- Coming to your senses: When enjoying something wonderful — a sunset, a sip of herbal tea, or a blooming rosebush — pause to notice what you smell, feel, taste, hear, and see.
- Making positive connections: Our brains are great at connecting stories to feelings, which, in this case, is a good thing. Linking positive associations from the past to a present-moment experience can conjure desirable emotions like awe and gratitude.
- Acknowledge “dampening” thoughts and move on: Again, your brain is wired to keep you “safe,” so often, amid something pleasurable, your inner critic might pipe up. Notice when that happens, and redirect your attention to savoring the moment.
The more conscious you are about what’s delicious in life, the better you’ll be able to balance the inevitable pain of life. And that’s the sweetest way possible to savor the days and years in equal measure.
The Art of Savoring (Psychology Today)
