Patience has never been one of my virtues. If you’re like me, trying to become more patient through sheer willpower is an exercise in futility.
Fortunately, it’s possible to become more patient through other means. Just like with anything else, you need to replace the jaw-clenching response you have to certain situations with something more measured.
“You want to train, not try, for patience,” says Sarah A. Schnitker, an associate professor of psychology and neuroscience at Baylor University. “It’s important to do it habitually.”
Patience does a body good
Being impatient is an unpleasant experience. Plus, it makes you look like an ass (speaking as an impatient ass myself).
Getting better at patience has other benefits as well:
Patience, the ability to keep calm in the face of disappointment, distress or suffering, is worth cultivating. The virtue is associated with a variety of positive health outcomes, such as reducing depression and other negative emotions. Researchers have also concluded that patient people exhibit more prosocial behaviors like empathy, and were more likely to display generosity and compassion.
Basically, impatience is an activation of the “fight” component of the fight-or-flight response. As a result, we’re reacting to relatively mild situations as if we’re encountering a lion in the bush.
Yeah, not good.
Just a little patience, yeah
When we react with impatience, the amygdala — the almond-shaped set of nervous tissue in our brains that identifies threats — isn’t smart enough to know it’s just Bob, your annoying co-worker.
That means we need to use our rational brain to interrupt the irrational reaction. What’s really at stake here? Is this situation really worth getting upset over?
Most often, it’s not.
One way to train for patience is to consciously work on it in annoying but low-impact situations. This will help you better reframe other scenarios when you’re seriously ticked off.
Also, one of the many benefits of mindfulness meditation is to create “space” between irritating stimulus and your response. Cultivating that space provides just enough room to let it go, Elsa.
How to Be a More Patient Person (New York Times)
