Enjoying all the year-end, data-driven insight into society’s collective consciousness? I’m certainly a sucker for Spotify’s annual “Wrapped” campaign and Pantone’s color of the year.
But the most fascinating this year is Merriam-Webster Dictionary’s “Most Used Word”: gaslighting. Considering we’re living in an era of extreme uncertainty — the perfect playground for bad actors who crave power and control — it’s no wonder the term rose 1740% over the previous year.
Gaslighting is a psychological tool wielded not only as a weapon of mass manipulation but also in more intimate settings, like at work (i.e., an overbearing boss) or in personal relationships. It’s a sanity-challenging situation that makes you question what’s real.
To extinguish this trauma-inducing dynamic, you must learn to recognize when it’s all gas and no substance.
What is Gaslighting?
The short definition, according to Merriam-Webster is:
The act or practice of grossly misleading someone especially for one’s own advantage.
While political and social examples from today’s headlines likely spring to mind, gaslighting isn’t new. The term comes from a Patrick Hamilton play turned into a 1944 movie called Gas Light, about a husband who uses a variety of tactics to make his wife think she’s losing her mind — including dimming their Victorian home’s gas lights while insisting they were on full-blast.
Being told repeatedly over time that your thoughts and perception are wrong increases confusion and dependence on the perpetrator while eroding self-confidence and security. Gaslighting works because it undermines the brain’s functioning.
Synesthesia (the coupling of the senses), semiotics (communication through symbols and icons), and semantics, (the manipulation and use of words) all combine to foster perceptions translated and expressed through language — words and thoughts — into actions, behaviors, and embedded memories. By capturing attention, using repetition, psychovisualization, and compounded memory, the gaslighting effect can be achieved.
It’s not just the naive and vulnerable who can fall prey to gaslighting — even the brightest among us can find their experiences and prospects dimmed by this awful manipulation.
Pass Gas to See the Light
The antidote to being gaslit is simple and actually comes naturally to Gen Xers: healthy skepticism. Don’t immediately assume you’re wrong when your experience doesn’t align with what you’re being told. And look for the tells — common gaslighting phrases include:
You are being paranoid.
That never happened.
You have an active imagination.
It’s really not about you; it’s about what the other player gains. And you don’t need the word of the year to tell you that gaslighting is widespread. The landslide of misinformation and proliferation of trolls, conspiracy theories, and deepfakes are evidence enough.
If you want to stop the insanity, remember it’s your right to speak the truth to power. And, as the song goes, don’t believe the hype.
The Media Psychology of Gaslighting and Social Change (Psychology Today)
