Remember virtual happy hours? As soon as social distancing kicked in, 55% of Americans instinctively rushed to video chat with everyone from BFFs to work buddies and old high school, camp, and college friends.
Or maybe you’re on or interested in the invite-only audio app Clubhouse (two million members and counting). You drop into a digital room and, in real-time, strike up a conversation with people who share your interests, much like a virtual cocktail party.
All of this online activity is a reflection of one vital human truth: we need friends.
If living in lockdown for nearly a year has taken a toll on your social life, you’re not alone. Don’t wait for a vaccine to boost your health and well-being, though.
You can get by with a little help from your friends.
In the Friend Zone
Research shows strong social connections are essential to living a long, fulfilling life. A landmark Harvard study launched in 1938 that followed men for eight decades revealed the top predictor of health and happiness at 80 wasn’t professional success — it’s the level of satisfaction in your relationships at 50.
While this points specifically to long-term connections, “micro-friendships” or “weak ties” — familiar acquaintances like your favorite barista or a buddy from the gym — are also impactful. Social scientist Gillian Sandstrom calls out the necessity of social connectedness.
Peripheral connections tether us to the world at large; without them, people sink into the compounding sameness of closed networks. Regular interaction with people outside our inner circle ‘just makes us feel more like part of a community, or part of something bigger.
Regardless of the level of closeness in friendships, the bigger, scientific picture points to the significant health benefits of simply being connected. From decreasing stress, heart disease, gut problems, and immune system issues to increasing well-being and longevity, social support is shown to be mutually beneficial to the friend on both ends.
A Friend Indeed
Undoubtedly the pandemic has complicated making and maintaining friendships. Without what author and connection coach Kat Vellus calls the “seeds of connection” — physical proximity, regular interactions, and shared interests, values, and outlook — friendships can change or end.
Most experts predict the “weak ties” relationships will reemerge once we’re back out and about in the world. For long-term relationships, now’s a perfect opportunity to reassess. Perspective is a gift; plus, research shows that who you hang out with brings out the best (and worst) in you.
So take advantage of the Great Pause to reevaluate who you want to stay connected to — and who you don’t. And if you’re not sure, call someone you’re close to for advice. After all, that’s what friends are for.
The Pandemic Has Erased Entire Categories of Friendship (The Atlantic)
