Success is a word that gets thrown around a lot in a generic sense, as if we all agree on what that means. Regardless of stereotypes fed to us by media and culture, success is not only subjective, it’s not even one quantifiable thing.
Neil Pasricha, author of The Happiness Equation, argues that there are three distinct types of success. Further, he claims that the three are essentially incompatible.
Here are the three types:
- Sales success is about getting people to buy something you’ve created or put on offer: Your book is a commercial hit! Everybody’s reading it, everybody’s talking about it, you’re on TV.
- Social success means you’re widely recognized among your peers—people you respect. You’ve earned critical success. Industry renown. To extend the book author example, the New York Times reviews your latest novel.
- Self success is in your head. It’s invisible. Only you know if you have it, because it corresponds to internal measures you’ve established on your own. Self success means you’ve achieved what you wanted to achieve, for yourself.
Okay, I can get behind this. The categories are certainly broad, but most conceptions of success fall within these three buckets.
Then, Pasricha explains why you generally can’t have all three at the same time. His thesis is that success in one or two categories will naturally diminish another.
For example, financial success often leads to a desire for more of the same, causing a loss of respect in some social circles and a compromise of self due to “selling out.” Meanwhile, an emphasis on impressing certain types of people may lead to a loss of personal integrity and the avoidance of certain financial opportunities.
Leading from a standpoint of self success, however, has the potential for levels of success in all three categories. We’ve seen that focusing on the satisfaction of an activity or process itself is superior to focusing on results. Money and social status feed the ego, but this often leads to hollowness instead of happiness.
Pasricha says you should pick one category of success and aim for that alone. I disagree.
It may not be easy, but striving to lead with self success in a way that brings financial and social success as well is my goal. I resolved back in 2005 never to do work that was only for money and/or social status again, and I’ve stuck to that. Plus, even though I focus on our company growth constantly, we know exactly where our “selling out” line is and never cross it.
Right now I feel okay in all three categories. That could change of course, but even if it does, I’ll try my best to emphasize internal satisfaction that also provides external results.
No one needs to be a billionaire. No one needs to be famous. But everyone needs to be comfortable with who they are.
This Is The Most Likely Reason Why You Feel Successful But Still Aren’t Happy
Keep going-
Brian Clark
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