Do you ever feel empty, even though you’ve achieved success and have much to be grateful for?
Have your well-ordered days been shaken by divorce, your kids leaving home, or other life quakes?
If so, you’re likely stuck in what New York Times columnist and bestselling author David Brooks calls “the valley of suffering.” It’s that stagnated place between the “first mountain” of life you scaled, which is centered on self-development and achievement, and the “second mountain” of renewed purpose that lies ahead.
Rather than wallowing in that fallow place, if you look carefully within, you’ll discover a clear path out — and up.
A Movement of Heart and Soul
In the valley, it becomes clear that service-oriented opportunities you perhaps undervalued are worth reexamining. Once you embrace the idea that self-interest alone doesn’t account for the full magnitude of a human being, you’re ready to start your ascent. As Brooks explains in his book, The Second Mountain:
We have a season when we chase the shallow things in life. We are not fulfilled. Then comes hardship, which exposes the heart and soul. The heart and soul teach us that we cannot give ourselves what we desire most. Fulfillment and joy are on the far side of service.
According to Brooks, Western culture’s hyper-individualism corrodes our social fabric, creating personal and societal problems. Instead, embrace relationism — the worldview that prioritizes selflessness and service to others.
Commit to the Climb
It might be daunting to gaze up at the mountain ahead, but it becomes easier when you view the world through relationist glasses. Brooks recommends four specific commitments to enhance the quality of your relationships and build the psychological stamina necessary to scale the second mountain:
Vocation: Choose a vocation that satisfies the more profound desire to dedicate yourself to a righteous cause over a career, which is more about the superficial desires of individualism.
Life partner: A long-term relationship can help you achieve “the deepest steady joy you can find on this earth.”
Philosophy and faith: Embracing an intellectual life encourages your pursuit of the highest desires, like truth and wisdom. Spiritual faith helps you maintain deep commitments, even when doubt infiltrates your mind.
Community: Join and build communities, as rich relationships exist between people who live selflessly and are devoted to caring for one another.
The second-mountain life ultimately is a spiritual journey where you discover not just your highest self but also the depths of your infinite ability to care. At the summit lies the joy of devoting yourself to wholehearted service of the people, ideas, and causes you care about most.
The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life by David Brooks (Amazon)
