I used to cringe at the idea of setting goals.
It wasn’t something I thought I was good at and so naturally, I didn’t like it very much. And when we don’t like something, we tend to find every opportunity to avoid it.
At least I do.
But my pesky perfectionist tendencies weren’t my only problem. The idea of goal-setting also seemed to ignite an abundance of fear and doubt inside my head.
Setting goals that I might actually have to achieve sounded scary. Committing myself to work that I didn’t yet have the confidence to pull off was uncomfortable.
And with that toxic combination of perfectionism and fear swirling around in my head, anytime I thought about setting some goals, my brain would just overwhelm itself with doubt and what if’s:
- What if I don’t know what I want?
- What if I know but don’t know how to get it?
- What if I know how to get it but can’t do it?
- What if I change my mind?
- What if my goals are stupid?
- What if my goals are wrong?
- What if I waste my time?
- What if it takes forever?
- What if I set goals and they never happen?
- What if I set goals and they do happen?
There was always this high level of uncertainty poisoning my thoughts and inspiring extreme levels of procrastination. That is until I started approaching the whole goal-setting exercise a little differently.
Goal-setting doesn’t have to be painful
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. – Henry Ford
Goal-setting shouldn’t be a frustrating or stressful activity that you dread. It should be an incredibly enlightening experience that generates mind-blowing clarity for what you want to achieve next in your life.
And the secret to having that kind of experience is to stop trying so hard. When you obsess over creating the “perfect goal” or doing it the “right way” (like I did) it clouds your view of what you’re really trying to do; which is identify the next level you want to achieve in your life.
It’s important to remember that a great goal is defined by its ability to drive you towards something you genuinely want to accomplish, not by the method you use to create it. In other words, stop worrying so much about the “how to” and spend your time discovering what it is that you actually want.
Your goals will get better when you learn to stop overthinking, overanalyzing, and second-guessing your approach. If you’re someone who is determined to start setting meaningful goals that generate amazing results, then here are three more goal-setting mistakes you should avoid like the plague.
Mistake One: Failing to ask yourself the right questions
The quality of your questions determines the quality of your life. – Tony Robbins
Michael Neill, the author of Supercoach, teaches us that, “For a worthy goal to form, you need to be able to coax your true heart’s desires out of the deep depths of your spirit, into your head and down onto a piece of paper.”
Even if that sounds a bit woo-woo for your rational mind, all it means is that for you to uncover a profoundly motivating goal, it must be something you truly WANT to achieve. And we don’t often find those ‘wants’ skimming on the surface.
They’re usually hidden away in the depths of our mind and guarded by a million different obstacles we’ve created out of fear and doubt. Sometimes we don’t even know these ‘wants’ exist until we take the time to dig them out.
To avoid setting yourself up for failure (with a goal that you don’t care about), you need to uncover your ‘deep wants’, and this means asking yourself the right questions. The soul-searching, deep-diving, boundary-pushing questions that will transform the way you see your life and the opportunities available to you.
- What do you daydream about, even if you’ve never admitted it out loud before?
- What would you want if you removed the ‘wants’ you think you should have or feel like you’re expected to have?
- If money wasn’t an issue, what would you love to create?
The right questions will help you avoid chasing goals you have no passion for. Goals that mean nothing to you and therefore inspire little-to-no action.
If you struggle to ask the right questions, my previous Further article on uncovering your unique natural advantage has a list of 21 questions you can ask yourself today.
When you start asking yourself better questions, you’ll start creating better results.
Mistake Two: Failing to turn your goal into a project
If you really want what you say you want, there is always a way to create it. – Michael Neill
If you fail to turn your goal into actionable, doable steps, then I can guarantee you won’t achieve it. For any goal to be reached you need a plan of action to make it happen – not just some words written on a piece of paper.
Your goal must inspire action – so turn it into a project.
Projects aren’t things you work towards; they’re things you work on. And unlike a goal, where you’re a failure until the moment you succeed, with a project, you’re successful until the moment you fail.
But how do you turn a goal into a project? Well, you can start by figuring out what done looks like.
When you have a clear vision of what your project looks like once it’s complete, you can work backwards to uncover the actions and resources you need to make it happen. Don’t worry if there are knowledge gaps or skills you still need to develop; this step is simply about identifying what is required for you to reach your goal.
When you know what actions to take, you can create a plan that will bring your project to life.
Mistake Three: Failing to consistently practice to achieve results
To be great at something you eventually have to enjoy the process from top to bottom. – Steven Chandler
Sometimes our goals are scary. And that’s okay. But it’s not okay if that fear paralyses you into inaction. Which it so often does.
So what can you do to push past that fear? The short answer — you can practice.
Most of the time our fear comes from over-thinking and feeling doubtful about whether we can achieve what we set out to do.
So to combat those feelings you need to figure out a consistent habit you can build that will make you more confident in achieving your goal. You need to develop your habit for success.
Let’s say you want to build and audience by starting a blog. But …
- You haven’t written a blog before;
- You don’t think you’re a very good writer; and
- You don’t know much about the writing process.
Here’s how you could conquer these obstacles using consistent practice.
Obstacle: Your skills don’t match your goal
Practice: Write 300 words every day before doing anything else.
Obstacle: You have limiting beliefs about whether your writing is good enough.
Practice: Write every day without any strings attached. The writing can just be for you.
Obstacle: You have significant knowledge gaps to fill about how to become a better writer.
Practice: Spend two hours learning how to be a better writer each week and implement what you learn.
Now it’s your turn.
What’s holding you back from achieving your goals? And what can you do on a consistent basis to overcome these obstacles?
If you’ve struggled to set and achieve meaningful goals in the past, then consider starting fresh with what you’ve learned today.
Are you unsure of what your next move is? Ask yourself impactful questions to uncover what you really want and what excites you.
Do you struggle to bring your goals to life? Create an exciting project where the focus is on daily action and implementing your plan.
Do you have trouble taking action? Build a habit for success so that the scariest thing you have to do, becomes a daily practice you love.
Goals. There’s no telling what you can do when you get inspired by them. There’s no telling what you can do when you believe in them. And there’s no telling what will happen when you act upon them. — Jim Rohn
If you’d like to chat more about your goals or have a story to share about your goal-setting failure or better yet, your success – then feel free to follow me on Facebook so we can connect.
