Viktor Frankl, the psychiatrist who survived a Nazi death camp, wrote the following in his memoir Man’s Search for Meaning:
- Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
Last week we talked about the power of indifference toward things we can’t control. What we can control is our perception of the stimulus and resulting actions, and the key to that control is the space between an emotional trigger and our response.
Using that space to modify our response to emotional stimulus is the essence of Emotional Agility by Harvard psychologist Susan David, a book recommended to me by a Further reader (thanks Crystal!). It’s a methodology for breaking out of the vicious cycle of allowing triggering emotions to dictate our behavior.
- By opening up that space between how you feel and what you do about those feelings, emotional agility has been shown to help people with any number of troubles: negative self-image, heartbreak, pain, anxiety, depression, procrastination, tough transitions, etc.
It’s not just for managing negativity, though:
- Emotionally agile people are dynamic. They demonstrate flexibility in dealing with our fast-changing, complex world. They are able to tolerate high levels of stress and to endure setbacks, while remaining engaged, open, and receptive.
Emotional Agility is a solid book that offers up a process for breaking emotional rigidity by becoming “unhooked” from trigger emotions. Many of you will recognize the similarity of David’s advice to cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques.
I first heard about the “space” that Frankl references in the context of meditation. Not only does the practice make you aware of your emotions and the self-talk that comes with them, it helps you focus on the space and expand it for use in daily life.
It’s as if time slows down to allow you more room to choose how to rationally respond, instead of reacting on emotional auto-pilot. This is the main reason I’ve re-committed to daily meditation, even if it’s only five minutes.
So, if you’re trying to change the way you react to life’s situations, that’s one more powerful and practical benefit of meditation. If you’re looking for a pragmatic approach to the practice, 10% Happier by Dan Harris remains the best book for the skeptical.
- Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life
- 10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works (Amazon Associate links)
Keep going-
Brian Clark
Further
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further: sharing
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